Not my actual words but this is zooming around facebook and I felt it was a good share. It gave me a giggle
THE NEXT AUSTRALIAN STIMULUS PAYMENT
Free advice from the Consumers and Taxpayers Society
Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by Using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Aust. Economy by
Spending your stimulus cheque wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Coles, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala.
If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in Australia by:
1) Spending it at garage sales, or
2) Going to the footy , or
3) Spending it on prostitutes,or
4) Beer or
(These are the only Australian businesses still operating in Australia )
Go to a footy game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a garage-sale and drink beer all day !
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help